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Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Dear Degenerate (An open letter to the thief who swiped my purse)

Having lost the physical, mental, or moral qualities considered normal and desirable; showing evidence of decline.
An immoral or corrupt person.
Decline or deteriorate physically, mentally, or morally.

First off let me apologize. When you saw me working my job you probably thought my purse was full of enough cash to fuel your likely meth/crack/booze habit that you need to steal for. Lucky for me (not so much for you) it wasn't. See, my legitimately earned wages go towards things like bills and my kids, no leftover for a dirty thief such as yourself. Sorry.

I feel sorry for you. Seriously. If you have nothing better to do than look for the opportunity to rip someone off than your existence is sad and pitiful. If you are broke enough to have to steal than get a fucking job! I have two, it's not that hard. Speaking of two jobs, I do not work 40-70 hours a week to support you or others like you.

Next time (because there will be a next time unless you have a fucking epiphany), at least have the decency (I know, you are a thief, decent is asking a whole lot) to dump the stolen purse somewhat nearby after you have rifled through and taken what you wrongly assumed was yours. I liked my purse and my tinkerbell keychain, I want my stuff back no matter how inconsequential you think it is.

North Battleford has a reputation for being rubby, YOU are part of that problem. Where is your self respect? Do you take pride in anything other than your ability to snatch and run? I doubt you will ever read this for several reasons, one being you are likely a middle school drop out who is illiterate.... When you go to jail, ask the warden to read this to you...

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe you aren't an illiterate drop out. Maybe you are a real smart person who made stupid choices. The fact is, there are always choices. Stop choosing to be a cancerous spore on the anus of humanity and start choosing to be a better person. Go to rehab if you need to, go to school, get a job. Whatever. Just do something that doesn't involve screwing over someone else.

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